Nyquil

Is it bad to be super excited to be taking Nyquil tonight? Seriously there is nothing worse then being a college student with a cold. Congestion makes sleeping and homework time about 4 times harder then usual. But, I shall be feeling better tomorrow.

Tomorrow I get to do this huge project called DRA (developmental reading assessment). It is this assessment that I have to do with a third grader to try to discover their reading level within a half hour. Should be interesting. In reading over the material it looks really complicated, but maybe it wont be as bad when I sit down to do it. The running records part is what I am really scared about. I haven't practice that with a real kid yet and there will be a lot on the line when I do it tomorrow.

Dance practice is tomorrow. I decided to do the social club instead of the team because the team was stressing me out too badly. And heaven knows I don't need any more stress in my life. So I am actually looking forward to the actual dance class now.

I'm not really sure what else to say. I am not in the best of moods and unfortunately it isn't a reflective bad mood which produces great truths that I needed to write out to understand, this is just a bad mood. One that will be kind of hard to knock. Oh well, as is my new motto, "What are ya gonna do?"

Ok, this is the reflective part. My prayer right now.
Lord, I am overwhelmed and exhausted and beaten down from all that is going on. I don't want to worry. I know you can handle it all. So take it, please take it. I don't want any of it. Its too much.

Challenge

Travis and Laura strike again...

Hebrews 12:1
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud if witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Jeremiah 7:24
But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts. They went backward and not forward.


Seriously, this might be a lot harder to pull off this time...

Blessed

I came home to wonderful surprise today. A well timed wonderful surprise. I was seriously bummed out today, all day today. And I arrive at my apartment and what do I see? Two seriously huge packages from Family Christian Stores! At this point I am seriously excited but already running late to my dance class. So I push the boxes into my bedroom because they are so big and so heavy and take off for class.

Dance class was a little upsetting tonight because I was matched with a bad partner. He was generally being a jerk and getting mad at me when I messed up. So I arrive home rather bummed again, and finally I am shown why I was bummed all day.

Anyway, I finally get to open these packages from Family Christian. I discover I am truly blessed to work at a place with such wonderful, generous people who love me. The contents are essentially the largest care package ever.

Contents:
1 Bag of Oreos
1 box of Nutty Bars
1 box of mini popcorn bags
2 bags of English Muffins
1 container of chips ahoy!
2 bags of scripture candy corn
1 box of Crunch 'n Munch
1 box of pop tarts
36 individual size Cheez-it bags
36 servings of Ramen Noodles
24 bags of assorted potato chips
5 Ho-Hos
1 Trail Mix granola bar
1 box of Butterfinger Hot Cocoa mix
1 box of Marshmallow Treats (valentine style)
1 bag of oyster crackers
2 big size popcorn
1 container of cheese nips
1 box Fruity Rice Cereal
1 box Easy Mac
1 Box of Juice boxes
1 Box of Bakery Favorite oatmeal :)
1 4-pack of Hunt's Snack Packs
2 Jars of Jif Peanut Butter
1 Squeezable Strawberry Jelly
1 Squeezable Grape Jelly
1 package of pringles
3 cans of fruit
10 cans of soup

Seriously this is an amazing care package! For someone who has a hard time finding time to eat let alone shop, this is amazing. I am so grateful! This is perfect for me to have this stuff when I am out on campus. Thank you ladies and the one or two gentleman. I am so blessed to have you all in my life! I miss you all too and love you too! Thanks again. It couldn't have come at a better time. Thanks so much!

Partner

So I have dancing and my faith on the brain. It makes for a interesting combination and therefore I came up with several parallels between dancing and my relationship with Christ and my relationship with my future husband.

First I'll talk about my relationship with Christ. This will be entirely written as though I am dancing, so I hope you can pick up the symbolism.

Several years ago I developed a desire to dance. I had two problems. One I didn't think I had a partner and two I didn't know how to dance. Well, I eventually learned of a partner, who actually desired to be my partner. I had one problem left. I did not know how to dance. However, the secret to having a good partner is that the partner knows how to lead and guide. So my partner taught be the basics steps. Once I had developed this skill, my partner helped me with more difficult steps. Even when I did not know the steps or when things became more challenging. My partner was there always asking me to dance again and patiently teaching me how to follow him. I find in order to dance well with this partner, I must trust the partner to lead me well. I have to trust he will not lead me into a crash with other couples and he will not try a move which is not for the betterment of the dance. I have discovered through years of overcoming challenges, trusting, and dancing with this partner, that there is nothing superior to dancing and being in the control of this partner.

Now, on to the future husband allusion. This one is quite a bit less symbolic.
The same characteristics which I would look for in a good partner is something I need to look for in a future husband. In the man who I am going to marry. He needs to not only know how to dance himself (this would be having faith himself) but also know how to guide and lead me (encourage and push my faith). I need a man who is unafraid to step up and take control. A man who lets me know in advance what he is going to do and what he desires, thus someone who knows how to lead. How can I know what the next step is, what is expected of me, and where I am supposed to go, if the man does not first let me know. In dancing, unless you are lead in a different direction by the man, you continue with the basic step. Thus, this is how I will proceed. Unless a man is willing to step up, make his intentions known, and prepare to lead, I will continue with my life as usual.

Until my first partner, my first love, adds another partner for me to dance with, I will cling to my first partner, my first love with all my might.

Generic

I don't really have any one thing to talk about so this will be generic and random and all over the place.

So I think we will do a list. Just random things I think I would like to share.

1. My package is coming tomorrow morning!!! I am so excited and likely to not get much work done after that, but that is okay because after tonight I will have all my homework done until the weekend!
2. I bought Fern Gully on DVD yesterday! I'm also excited for that.
3. The Philippians study we are doing this semester will be amazing. Man, is that book packed full of good stuff!
4. I started my discipleship last night and I can also tell that I will grow a great deal.
5. I turned in a paper two days early despite being really sick!
6. I am learning some serious lessons in patience right now, but I know God will work out whatever it is He is working out!
7. Grandma and Grandpa Driver are visiting for lunch on Friday!
8. Kari and I are meeting again Friday evening!
9. RALLY on Friday!

Well, I thought I would have more then that, but apparently not. Oh well, I am feeling very ADHD right now... maybe I have taken too much medicine in the last couple of days!

Learn

It's still amazing to me how simply being at Purdue teaches me so much. Sadly, Sir, I am not talking about learning things in a classroom or when I visit schools. I am talking spiritually. For some reason, it seems I just have to be here to be growing.

Here are some verses which stood out to me from both conversations with friends and my own time alone with God.


Proverbs 16:2 All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.

Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

Ecclesiastes 5:7 Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God.

So in case you don't know my mind well enough. This is how these three verses come together for me.

Although I plan and "dream" for things to happen, I sometimes contort these plans and "dreams" in my head until they seem innocent to me. Therefore the wisdom from these verses is:
1. I can explain my "innocent" thoughts away as much as I want, but in the end the Lord knows whether my motives are pure or not.
2. I can plan my life all I want or I can cling to God with all of my heart and let Him guide my feet to where they actually should go as opposed to where I want them to go.
3. My thoughts and "dreams" often get in the way. They can take my mind off of God. Therefore, I will abandon my many thoughts and words and dreams and stand in awe of God.

Now, wisdom which I heard last semester, but apparently wouldn't learn until right now.

When I ask God to take care of a situation and then I continue to worry about it, I am showing an extreme lack of faith. Most of you might think, yeah, duh. But here is the part that gets me.
When I continue to worry about situations I have given to God, it is as if I am saying to God, "I know You can provide bread from heaven, part the red seas, prevent three men from being burned, and so much more, but I just don't think You can handle this. I just don't think I can trust You enough to handle this and not worry."
Who am I to say that? How dare I think that?
It is at that point, when I realize that my worrying is doubting God, that I find it easy to then abandon the worry and simply trust.
So because I am a Navigator and this is what we do. Here is my plan of attack:
When worrying begins:
1. Spend time in the Word
if the Word is not available
2. Spend time in prayer about adoration of who God is and what He has done.

So, this is what I have got right now.
Now, I realize given about a week, I am sure I will have this crazy post all about how I am worrying. But as of right now, this is where I am and where I know I should be.

Homework

Not much to update... School has started. I spent a lot of time last night writing papers. One of which I was the wrong one, but I still may have to turn it in, so we will see.

Classes seem like they should be relatively easily; however, they have come up with a lot of ways to make sure that we all do the reading every night. Which is not so much for me. I am taking a freshman level history class, which should be an excellent break from what I am used to.

I could really use some prayers for my stomach. Not really sure what is happening there. It apparently only hurts when I am not in classes, so it makes it hard to concentrate on homework and reading.

I am now listening to the audio book of Narnia. It is really good. I have never really read many science fiction type books because they seemed a little boring to me. But I love all of the metaphors in the books. C. S. Lewis was an amazing writer.

I think that is about all I've got for right now.

Lesson

Why can I not just learn lessons the first time? I am every teachers worst nightmare student. I would be the student who at the end of every year forgot everything I had ever learned from Kindergarten on and had to be re-taught all of it the next school year.

All right.... I learned my lesson again, God.... Your way, or no way....

Productive

Incredibly productive day!

1. Went to church
2. Purchased most textbooks
3. Bought groceries
4. Bought notebooks and pencils
5. Dusted my room
6. Cleaned most of the bathroom
7. Vacuumed my room
8. Watched a movie
9. Relaxed
10. Emailed Cory
11. Printed off schedule

All in all. I think I am ready to start tomorrow.

School

Ohhhhh...
Back 2 School
Back 2 School
To Prove To Dad That I'm Not A Fool
I've Got My Lunch Packed Up,
My Boots Tied Tight,
I Hope I Don't Get In A Fight
Ohhhh...
Back To School
Back To School
Back To School...

Headed to Lafayette tomorrow! No offense to anyone at home, but I am psyched to be going back! I miss my friends and the faith challenges which exist at school.

Stumble

More song lyrics which struck a chord....


[The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable]

What if I stumble?
What if I fall?

Is this one for the people?
Is this one for the Lord?

Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?
You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains
Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame

Cause I see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need Your love in their lives
Compromise is calling

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?

Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me
Or the rate at which it grows

If struggle has a purpose
On the narrow road you've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar

Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling

What if I stumble?

Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
You're up against a wall, it's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
I hear You whispering my name
[You say]"My love for You will never change" [never change]

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You are my comfort, and my God

Is this one for the people, is this one for the Lord?

-DC Talk "What if I Stumble"


Seriously though, what if I stumble? I know Christ will take me back, but I don't want to lose this progress that I have made.... I can feel a stumble coming on, but I suppose I will just have to trust God to help me through.

Lyrics

In a desperate effort to either find a song which matched my mood (impossible) or find a song that was encouraging (much simpler), this is what I came up with:


Oh Relient K.
They just never disappoint me.


I think it might just be alright
To leave what matters out of sight
Old habits die hard holding on
Inevitable means it's never gone

Told myself what I need to hear
I think the point was very clear
I showed me what we'd missed since we
Slipped into inconsistency

It seems as if my ties with you get severed
I cant seem to hold a thing together
I just fall apart, cause that's my trademark

It's my, my trademark move
To turn my back on you
It's my, my trademark move
To realize I should improve

And sometime soon after that
You'll see me come crawlin back

I'll kill the thing that turns me away
Amputate the arm that will disobey
Withdraw from everything that's hurting me
Until you finish your work in me

It seems as if my ties with you get severed
I cant seem to hold a thing together
I just fall apart, cause that's my trademark

And sometime soon after that
You'll see me come crawlin back

-Relient K "Trademark"

Wonder

There are sometimes in a girl's life where she is just plain overwhelmed. Tonight is one of those times. However, it is seriously amazing what putting on a Wonder Woman t-shirt can do to life your mood.

There are just some days when you need to put on your best superhero costume and pretend like that superhero is really who you are. So, here's to you Wonder Woman! I am you for the night! Blue sweatpants and a red shirt with your logo. Not a half bad costume. Tonight, you evil doers and especially you liars, Beware! Kimi the Wonder Woman is on the job and you better believe I have the Lasso of Truth!