Count

Forty-six days and counting!!!! :) Yay!

Stunning

This is a video of one of the coolest nights I have ever had. This is my stunning friend Danno. He was picked out of the crowd to go up on stage with Relient K for "Sadie Hawkins Dance". I apologise for the lame video quality. I was so excited, I was shaking and the music was too loud for my poor camera to handle.

Symbol

I was thinking in church today about dancing again and connections to faith and our walk with God. This is more specific to the waltz and the basic ballroom etiquette.

The Invitation -

This is often done without words. The man places his hand out for the woman to either accept or reject. In this simple gesture, the man is asking, "Will you trust me?" and "Will you allow me to take you on this journey?". In the acceptance, the woman is putting her trust and whole self in the care and protection of the man. She is acknowledging that he is in charge and she will follow him wherever he goes.

The Beginning -

In the Waltz, once the woman is led out to the dance floor. Her hand is dropped and the man assumes dance position. This position entails the man once again holding his left hand out to the woman and holding his right arm open waiting to take her into his arms. His weight is on his left foot with his right foot pointed off to the side. The woman moves toward him and takes his left hand with her right. She rests her left arm on his right shoulder as he wraps his right arm around her. At just the right time during the introduction, the couple shifts their weight. The man to his right leg, the woman to her left. The woman's gaze shifts to look over the man's right shoulder. In this moment, both parties have completed the final agreement to take this journey together. The two have now become one and are ready to begin.

The Dance -

The dance begins slowly. The man is completely in charge and is responsible for making his and her movement fit the music. The man is simply the worker. He understands that all of the beauty and purpose of this dance, rests in the woman he holds in his arms. The music fades in and out, reaches a fevered pitch and calms again. Throughout this time, the woman follows the man's desires for her, trusting him to make her look as beautiful and perform the very best she possibly can.

The Ending -

The dance ends with a turn for the woman in which the partners separate to form a parallel line with the observers. The couple then turns toward each other and a mutual, "Thank You" is expressed. The man is thankful for being trusted and allowed the privilege of taking the woman on this journey. The woman is delighted to have been personally chosen and carried away. The dancers walk off of the floor and wait to meet again for yet another wonderful occasion.

The Connection -

The invitation for our relationship with Christ is a standing invitation, which we must either accept or reject. In the time of the invitation, Christ is asking us to trust him to allow Him to take us on a journey to bring us on towards completion. In our acceptance of Christ, we are promising to let him lead our lives and follow him wherever He takes us.

At the beginning of our walk, we acknowledge that we no longer exist. We die to ourselves and Christ lives in us. Two have become one.

Throughout the dance or walk of faith, there may be moments of confusion. In which we are confused about the direction we are being led. We may take a few wrong steps, but because our lead is the ultimate leader, he guides us back to the right pattern and step and continues to lead us. He works to make us become the very best we can be. He works to prefect us and leads us to do everything He desires.

Although, there is never an end of our walk of faith, there are moments that exist in our lives when the follower looks to their partner, their leader, and is grateful. Grateful for being chosen to be saved from the certain effects of their sin. Grateful for the leader who never fails and is always steady, capable, compassionate, graceful, and helpful.

Amazing

Did you know I am amazing?
I am! I've been told.


Reasons I am amazing....
1. Jai (my dance instructor) said I was, when he called to say how impressed he was with my dancing. I was actually able to Waltz with Jai tonight in front of the students in the beginners class. It was amazing to have people watch me with their jaws literally hanging open. The guy who owns the studio even commented on how well I dance. Amazing!
2. I have lost 13 pounds! (I weighed myself after the shower, with wet hair, at the end of the day, so I may have lost even more.)
3. Despite massive concussion symptoms, I completely impressed my university supervisor. So much so that I completely duped her. She commented that I clearly was excited about what I was teaching and loving what I was doing.

Dawn

Not all of this may be appropriate. Seriously, Grandma & Grandpa Driver and Dad, stop reading this.

However, I am writing this post entirely for Dawn Taylor, because she seems to get a kick out of the weird things that happen to me. This was an entire day of weird things.

7:00 AM: I am dog sitting for the Liskeys. I arrive. A friend's car is there, it was there last night, but I didn't see him then. I again do not see him as I walk in. What do I see? The dog has pooped, nay, had diarrhea in three spots on the back porch. These are not small spots. These spots are the size of my dog. So I begin dry heaving and deciding on my plan of attack to clean these spots. Scoop it on a paper plate? Nope, no paper plate. Use the pooper scooper? Nope, I would have to go through the poopy back yard to get it. My friend? Nope, I would feel too guilty waking him up (assuming he is asleep and that is why I have not seen him). Paper towel? Best option I got. So, I begin to clean the mess up. Dry heaving the entire time. I finish. I disinfect. I leave.

10:45 AM: I have an appointment with a new neurologist. She is not taking any new patients, but seeing as how I am a freak of nature, she took me on. She then begins to explain in very simple terms all of the questions and problems that I have had about my concussion stuff that no one has been able to answer for me for years. Cause of multiple concussion? Nope, not doing it on purpose for attention. Nope, not just ridiculously clumsy. Nope, not simply not careful. Migraines, I spend most of my life with one. Therefore I am almost constantly in a fog and not as sharp as I would be at other times. Cause of ongoing concussion symptoms? Not, brain damage that won't show up in tests. Not, imagined symptoms I create to gain sympathy. Migraines, which share all of the same symptoms as the concussions. Memory loss, word choice, exhaustion, dizziness, all from Migraines. Am I going to be brain dead by the time I am 30? Survey says no.

3:00 PM I am running a blood drive at my school through the Red Cross for a big Purdue Project. The kick-off for the blood drive starts today. I am told Buddy (the mascot for the program) has been booked. I am called down to the office to pick up my special guest. There is the spokeswoman, and a big bag. I'm thinking, "Where's the guy who is supposed to be Buddy?" She's thinking and saying, "So who gets to be buddy?" I am trapped. I agree to be Buddy. What is Buddy? A giant blood drop of course. 5 foot in diameter. That's right I have to put on a bright red spandex unitard and then this huge blood drop on top of my head. To complete the look I have white gloves with only four fingers. Yup. I proceed to walk around the school and wave to all the kids. You should know. I have an overwhelming problem with being surrounded by kids. Now add a huge hot costume and forty kids all wanting a high five or to touch you. YIKES. Pretty much a nightmare. And the best part? I get to do it again tomorrow and Wednesday.

8:00 Private Ballroom Lessons.
Jai: "What dances do you want to learn besides the Waltz"
Me: "All of them, I want to be able to do any of them with an emphasis on the Waltz."
Mom: "Make her do the Tango, she hates it."
Jai: "You hate it?"
Me: "The more I have danced it the less I hate it."
Jai: "Well, I am not going to pressure you into it. You will have to think about it and come tell me when you are ready to do it. It's intense."
Me: "Ok" (mildly embarrassed)
Jai: "You’re essentially humping on the dance floor, so you let me know when you are ready to do it. Just come in and say, "Jai, I am ready to do it. Let's do it" and we'll do it.
Me: "Ok" (Thoroughly embarrassed)
Jai: "I mean, because you are essentially making a conscious effort to put your junk on top of her and keeping it on her, so you let me know when you are ready and we'll do it."
Me: "Ok" (Downright mortified)
Me: *Thinking* I am never going to learn to tango. I am never going to be able to walk up after this conversation and say, "I'm ready, let's do it." Oh well.





Yup. so that was my day. Seriously abnormal. Seriously random. Seriously over.

Art

I'm sitting in school. At Cindy's big teacher desk during my most beloved special, Art. No, I am not an art fanatic. No, the kids do not calm back calmer. No, the kids make art projects for me. I simply adore Art because it is 20 minutes longer than my other specials. I love it. It's amazing what an extra 20 minutes can do for you. I can be so productive.

Not the case today though. I got online. I checked my email... I tried to look at facebook, but it is blocked by the school, and I will soon check the progress of my shoe order. What should I be doing? Grading the spelling and vocab tests I gave today. Revising Task 2 and 3. Working on my professional performance evidence paper. Finishing Spence's website. But no.

It's Friday. I'm tired and darn it, I just really want to do a Sudoku puzzle.
So, after cleaning most of last night and this morning. I am going to relax and do nothing I am supposed to do and wait until Sunday to stress again and work on what I should be working on....

Now, off to check on that shoe order....

Waltz

Okay.....

I understand I have written about dance lately and such, but it really excites me.

I just had my first private lesson. I am doing a 10 week session on the Waltz.

I have always loved the waltz. The women are so graceful and beautiful. Not the beautiful that the world defines, but a completely different kind of beautiful.

Saturday night I was trying on some clothes, including several dresses. My self-esteem was dropping quickly as I realized I looked like a football player who had put on a dress. I didn't look beautiful. I didn't even really look like a woman. This was a crushing blow. It has been so long since I have felt beautiful, truly beautiful.

It's hard to feel beautiful when you have a face full of acne, you are overweight, you don't know how to wear make up, and you just really prefer sweat pants to anything else. So, here I am in a major self-esteem slump heading into my Monday night waltz lesson, thinking "ugly girls need not apply".

But slowly, as I learn more and more technique and move past the basic steps, I begin to feel better. I realize I am gliding. I am graceful. And while I know I am paying him, there is a man who is inviting me to dance, teaching me to move in a way that reminds me of princesses and royal balls, and treating me with the utmost respect because that is just what ballroom people do. And I loved every minute of it, but especially the minute when my imagine successes are confirmed by my instructor with an excited, "Kim, that was perfect!"

My heart just about left my chest when I was told I was doing something beautiful, which I considered beyond me because I am not a stereotypical beautiful girl, perfectly.

I can diet all I want and use all of the acne medication I can find and in the end I would only be a skinny girl with clear skin. But with ballroom, I can feel beautiful regardless of my size or the clearness of my skin.

And I know, I should feel beautiful because God made me that way and He sees me that way, but ladies, I know you will understand, sometimes we just need to feel it.

Ballroom is my chance to escape the modern world, where woman are judged by what they wear, their shape and size, and yet are fighting to do all the things and be all the things that men are. Ballroom is my chance to go back to a world where the woman follows the man's lead, but is adored and treated as though she is adored. Where despite her size, shape, or ability to match the standard of beauty, she can be beautiful.