I have another adventures in retail story.
A woman came up to the register looking rather sheepish the other day. The magazine she was purchasing was upside down. This is not really out of the ordinary because many people will turn their merchandise which ever way they think the scanner works (The difference between a scanner gun and a surface scanner). So I didn't really think too much of it. I flip over the magazine and it is the December issue of Playboy. I must have given some sort of look, although I tried desperately to hide my surprise at a woman purchasing this item. She rather sheepishly at first but then with some amount of anger said, "My husband was angry Christmas morning when he realized I did not get him his annual Christmas surprise." Now, I do not know what my expression was at this point, but I was beyond disgusted. That a man would not only accept one from his wife, let alone ask his wife for a Playboy is beyond my imagination. Then, even worse, this man had the gall to be angry at his wife when she did not deliver his porn.
I try not to have a cynical view of men. I know not all men are like this despicable character. However, it is the actions of these few men (animals is more like it, for they do not even deserve such a title as men) that make me terrified of marriage. I know many Christian men exist that are pure-hearted, loving, and selfless. My hope and prayer for all of the women I know is that we may avoid, resist, and even flee from any man that is less then the aforementioned standard. That we may not put ourselves out into the world to "date" around with someone who is any less than someone with these standards. It is too easy to fall into a relationship because you are lonely or need some companionship. Then before you realize it, you are not the one in control of yourself. You are not in the
relationship for companionship. You are stuck and you cannot get out. So you wind up buying this person porn, though every fiber of your being tells you not to and you hate yourself for allowing your self to be pushed into this act. Women, do not let yourselves fall victim to some stupid boy who is any less than the perfect man which God has ordained for you. Do not let your hearts be trampled upon by some
narcissistic boy. Wait for God's man who will allow you and even help you to become the strong, beautiful (interior), and holy women you were designed to be.
For those of you, who have already experienced a relationship as seen the sad example from my job. Do not fear. I know the feeling, I understand that you believe you have too much baggage for anyone to ever be able to overcome. I know you have gotten to the point where you hide from relationships because you don't want someone else to have to deal with your crap. You'd rather save them from the pain of trying to overcome all that you have tried and failed to overcome for all these years. But, if you are able to somehow trust another male figure. God, can take you and break down your walls. He can soften your scar hardened heart. And he can take away your baggage, one pound at a time. He can heal your wounds. He will be the love you have always longed for and at some point, when you are most satisfied in him. He will bring the man he intended into your life and this man will be a
tangible example of the love of God. I do not want to say that I have reached this point, although it may improve my credibility if I had. But, I am deep in the trenches and I will fight my way out along side of any other women who is fighting. With a powerful and, above all, loving God we can still be healed.
I will finish with some song lyrics. I pray that for most women, that you would see these lyrics and learn from them, so these lyrics will never be such a representation of your life as they have been for mine.
"Stupid Boy"
Well, she was precious like a flower
She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different
Stupid boy, you can't fence that in
Stupid boy, it's like holding back the wind
She let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
Stupid boy, stupid boy
Oh
So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it push it around
I guess you build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down
She let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy
Oh, you always had to be right but now you've lost
The only thing that ever made you feel alive
Yeah, yeah
Well, she let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
Yes, ya did
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy, oh, I'm the same old
Same old stupid boy
It took awhile for her to figure out she could run
But when she did, she was long gone
Long gone, long gone
