Compulsive

My obsessive compulsive behavior paid off tonight! Instead of making me feel bad, my habit of checking away messages made me laugh. This is just too funny.

In this life I'm a woman.

In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.
When you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.
I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup ...... gonna be a bear.


Maybe I should bring this to Philosophy of Woman tomorrow. I think this will be my new Philosophy!

Firefighter

More fun thoughts from "I hate men 101." Today we were discussing the difficulty for women to get the same jobs as men. The example? Firefighters. My prof explained that the test is not fair for woman because they are expected to lift as much as a man and that it is just not fair. What's her idea to rectify the situation, you ask? Require the woman to lift lighter objects.

Now, let's once again separate ourselves from our emotions and passion for the subject of feminism.

Let's say the weight test for men is 250 lbs. Let's say they lower the woman's test to 150 lbs.
If I am in a burning building and unable to walk out or crawl out or move, I, being over 150 lbs (not for long), would be enraged if a woman firefighter came to rescue me and could not lift me up. I think I would definitely be calling for a male firefighter to come save me.

Now, if a woman wants the same job as a man she should be able to do the same job as a man. If we want equal treatment and opportunity then we must follow through on all equality.

Okay enough deep thoughts. I finished my homework and it is not too late! That is a first!

Just a quick cryptic thought. "I was not supposed to be the one."

Exhausted

I feel as though I was at school for about 12 hours. It's absolutly insane that my day started at 5:30AM and will start even earlier on Wednesday. Physically, Mentally, Emotionally.... Exhausted. I have so much work to do and I am desperatly in need of a nap. Decisions, Decisions. Work wins.

I was going to try to leave something clever or exciting, but again, just a little to wiped to come up with anything. Sorry folks. Boring reading today.

Ouch

I'm having sort of a rough night. I seem to be surrounded by drama and when other drama compounds with my own, it is just more than I can bare. Scratch that. Not more than I can bare, but more than I feel like I can bare. I know God is with me. It's just hard to see it when I am alone at night. I must keep reminding myself of Romans 5:3-5. I know Christ gives and has given me hope. I just struggle when it gets dark. I'll leave with a little superchic[k] reminder.

There are days when I'm okay
And for a moment
For a moment I find hope
But there are days when I'm not okay
And I need your help
So I'm letting go

I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be okay
Together we can make it through another day.

On second thought, I'll leave with thoughts of blessings. I am blessed to be a part of E-Team. I can already tell that it is going to stretch me in new ways and help me to become the person I want to be. I am blessed to have gone to a church this morning that inspired me to think and focus on the crucial. I am blessed to have a brother who came and visited me and made time to talk with me at the beginning of this break down. I am blessed to have a mom who is encouraging and loves me regardless. I am blessed to have friends who stand by me and like me for who I truly am and know who I truly am. I am blessed to be getting to know my father better and keeping in contact with him. I am blessed to have a carpool tomorrow to get me to school without using my gas. I am blessed to have a room to retreat to when I need to be alone. I am blessed to have a computer to keep in touch with family. I am blessed to have an assignment to meet and get to know 10 people this week, because I know it will truly test me. I am blessed to have a warm bed which is beginning to call my name. Finally, I am blessed for the opportunity to spend some time in the Word of God before I go to sleep.

Grrrr

And the inconsideration begins.... I guess I will not be sleeping tonight....

Feminism

Have you ever sat and listened to someone who was really passionate about a subject, but had clearly not fully understood or researched what they are saying? I think my philosophy of women (or should I say male-bashing, feminist) class will be a lot of that. Prime example:

The prof is trying to explain how women's rights are always fought over and men just get their rights with no argument. She explains:

"because they are women there are always protestors and big issues when a woman wants to get an abortion, but where are the protestors when a man wants to get a vasectomy? He is getting rid of the possibility of a child, and yet there is no big deal."

So here I am, sitting in class, clearly the only one in there who is not already a feminist and maybe because my judgment isn't already clouded, I easily come up with two holes in this argument. First of which is, there aren't any protestors when women get a hysterectomy and that is a right of women. Secondly, the possibility of a child and a child in progress are two very different things.

Mom

A salute to Mom!

Oh What a Beautiful Morning! Oh What a Beautiful Day!
I have a Wonderful Feeling! Everything's going my way!

Hooray!

This week has been really long and busy. The work load for all of my classes are insane. However, today ended really well. I finally got to see my Navigator friends. It was so encouraging and uplifting. I can hardly wait to spend more time with them. They are so amazing and have such a positive effect on my life! Things I am looking forward to: Talking to friends from home, RALLY, and hanging out with memebers of GDBB! Hooray! I finally have internet and there will be lots more post and more often as well!

Friends

I love my friends that I have in Crown Point. I wish you guys could come with me everywhere I go. I am always rejuvenate after spending time with them. I am happier and more ready to go outward in my faith and trusting in God. So this is a salute to you guys! Thanks for spending time with me last night and thanks for being there for me!

Hope

As I have been struggling with my current situation and how it affects my future, I have been listening to music which fits my emotions and offers hope.
These are some of the songs:

Superchic[k]:

Beauty From Pain

Suddenly

Not all of this one applies, so I will type out what does apply.

Courage:
There are days when I'm okay
And for a moment
For a moment I find hope
But there are days when I'm not okay
And I need your help
So I'm letting go

I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be okay
Together we can make it through another day

Relient K:

For The Moments I Feel Faint

Caved

That's right, I caved in. I try my best to avoid trendy little internet toys, but again, I caved.