Video

This is my birthday gift from my amazing husband. He had the idea to combine a lot of my favorite things. Coloring. Chuck Taylors. And he had some of my favorite people get involved in it!

Ignorant

I realize we haven't been married very long but in the last few weeks some things have started to click. You see, the first two and a half months of Chris and my marriage was not exactly what I had imagined. We bickered a great deal about almost everything and I found I had a shorter and shorter fuse because this was not the blissful marriage I had imagined. After about a week of silent tension, I would usually explode and tell him all the things that were wrong with our marriage. Now, our dating life was not much different, but there is an extra level of stress and frustration added when the idea in the back of your head is "for the rest of my life." I could only focus on something is not right. This is not how he is supposed to relate to me. We were both frustrated. He was trying to meet the needs I was telling him that I had. He was being more romantic everyday. I saw that, but something else was missing. Neither one of us could figure it out. He was doing everything he knew how and everything I was telling him I needed, and I was doing everything I knew how. I was writing him notes in his lunch, planning special dinners, and getting little surprises for him, etc. I was loving him the only way I knew how.

This is where the problem arose. You see, I had been taught since a very young age how a man was supposed to treat a woman. He is supposed to cherish her, open doors, adore her, buy her flowers, plan surprises, plan dates, etc. But, I had never learned in specific terms how a woman was supposed to treat a man. I don't know why this lesson seems to be overlooked, but it was. I grew up with a sharp tongued family, with the exception of my mother. It was sport in our family to conjure up a hurricane of words and see who was the last one standing. Now, I should say, there was a line that we were all familiar with that was not meant to be crossed. We could all play this game most of the time without feelings getting seriously hurt. It was just in fun. I also have spent a great deal of time with children. Correcting them on their mistakes to try to help them grow to be better adults. And with this well-meaning, but nasty combination I approach my dear husband.

When I was upset, I would tell him exactly what was on my mind and hold very little back. I would basically tell him he was responsible for fixing what was wrong in our relationship. I would belittle him about those pesky man habits (i.e. un-balling his socks, putting dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink, putting clothes in the hamper). In my mind I was trying to be helpful. I didn't mean to belittle him, I was trying to use some humor to lesson the blow, but it wasn't coming across that way. Without realizing it, I was doing the very thing he told me he feared most about getting into a relationship with me. I was using my tongue to hurt him. Although, it was not in the overt slicing and dicing method that we both feared. It was more subtle and much more damaging because I couldn't see it happening. You see, I knew how to love my husband unconditionally. I did love him with all my heart, but I did not know how to honor or esteem my husband.

Kevin gave Chris and I a book for Christmas called Love and Respect. I was reading a book at the time and put it next on the read list. Well, I got to about a chapter and a half before the wedding and hadn't had time to pick it back up again. But I had been feeling called to read it. So I found it again and put it in my line of sight so that if I ever had extra time I would pick it back up. The concept had been working me for a few days after one of our worst stand offs in which we both just said, "I don't know what to do or how to fix this." And one day after vacation bible school, I climbed into the tub and began reading. I was terribly convicted and saw right away, my wonderful husband had been diligently working on our marriage and I saw it, but my only response was to criticize. I realized that the missing link in our marriage was not the romance factor as I once assumed, it was my attitude and treatment of Chris.

I didn't ever let him know how greatly I appreciated him, how hard he worked to provide for me, how hard he worked on the house, how much effort he put into trying to appease my every criticism, and most of all how he loved me unconditionally despite my negativity towards him. Once I decided that I was going to be his biggest fan and make sure he knew it everyday, then things began to change. Not so much in the way Chris related to me, although it seems as though I am much easier to love when I am not so negative. But, I went from finding almost everything my husband did horribly annoying and frustrating to now having a hard time coming up with anything that frustrates me about him.

I have always been terrified of going into a relationship with rose colored glasses and then finding something scary when they came off. But I did the exact opposite with Chris. I went into the relationship seeing each and every one of his faults and then in the process, I became something scary. So, after almost three months of marriage I have decided to put my rose colored glasses on. I have decided to only focus on the amazing parts of my husband and how wonderful he is. I have decided to encourage, uplift, and strengthen my husband with my words. Now I will say I am only about a week into this process and I'm sure I will struggle with my tongue. It always has been one of my biggest downfalls, but I am blessed to have God intervened so quickly in our marriage so that this cycle would not have continued longer and created bigger walls and resentment. I have never felt more in love with him or more connected to him. He is my superman, my jack-of-all-trades, my knight in shining armor, my price charming, and my everything.

New

It's been a while so I thought I would venture to do an update.

Chris and I spent 46 hours this week painting a mural in the basement of the Methodist church. He was off work and I owe him big time for working like a dog on a week off. But the mural looks good and I am just that much closer to completing the projects I promised I would start here. The other big one should be starting in the fall it is a midweek program. I promised to get one of those up and running, so I will be pleased when it finally hits.

I will be headed to Arkansas on the 29th of August to pick up a car that Chris' mom is giving him and I will be meeting the parents. It is kind of a frightening prospect, but he has already met mine. He actually knew my mom long before he met me and he just met my dad a few weeks ago. Thanks Sir for meeting us and treating us to lunch. But I have never really done the bring her home to meet mom and dad thing before.

In other news, I have now switched to a new instructor at the studio. Tim is expecting his third child now and is feeling too stretched between his wife wanting him to be home and needing to continue to study to keep up with his students, so he has decided to take a break for now. It was a wise decision on his part. Family comes first, but I was sad to see him go and I think he is bummed to not be dancing.

However the move to John will be a very good thing. He has spent a great deal more time lately training and knows a great deal more and I know I will learn a lot from him. Not to mention he is taller than me so I can wear real dance shoes and not have to be as low into my knees. It feels really good to stretch out after years of going so deeply into my knees. But as Ray told me long ago, learning how to dance low into my knees will just make me that much better of a dancers and will put me that much further beyond everyone else.

I think that is about it for now. Sunday School is almost over and I can head home soon. Happy Sunday!

Determined

Things on the Determined List:

• Tell John and April I want to teach and ask what I need to do to get there.
• Take more lessons with Ray.
• Practice no less than 4 hours a week in the studio outside of regular groups and private lessons.
• Focus on technique
• Work on Arm styling and Facial Expressions
  
• Do not settle for inadequacy in my dancing
• Watch more dance videos
• Watch and observe instructors during groups and parties to pick up technique
• Read my bible everyday
• Go to church every Saturday
• Stay positive about church job and continue to work as though for the Lord
  
• Stay on top of my laundry
• See Liskeys as much as possible
• Keep house cleaner
• Save as much money as possible for dance
• Lose twenty pounds by July.
• Lose twenty more pounds by December.
• Start eating more vegetables and fruits
• Drink a Nalgene full of water everyday

WOO

My brother competed in a Triathlon. Sweet!

Alive

I have resurfaced.... Finally.... I'm starting to feel like a normal human again.

VBS was this past week. Power Lab was the theme. It was science-y, which is right up my alley. 150 Kids. I worked 70 hours the week before. This week I was totally burned out but still managed to work almost a full week. Falling only two hours short. Which I more than made up for the week before. I think the week went really well. But there definitely needs to be some reorganizing of people according to their strengths. And better organizing all the way through. It will be much easier when it is my project from the very beginning.

Tim has been gone for both of those weeks. Dancing with him helps me to unwind, so he was SORELY missed. He was back on Thursday and challenged me like I haven't been challenged in weeks. It was amazing. I love having to think that hard. I love watching him do something and think there is NO WAY I am going to be able to do that, then he continues to challenge me and never slows it down or thoroughly explains it and then I get it. It's an amazing feeling. I can't wait to have a lesson with him next week. Group lesson on Tuesday. Group in Highland on Thursday. Private Lesson on Friday. So exciting.

The guy that I practice with each week and I danced a viennese for the first time at a party. It was scary. I have never successfully danced a viennese with anyone other than Tim at a party. We were both rather exhilarated at the end of it because we not only survived but did pretty well. So much so that we even got compliments from others who were watching. One guy said he was watching our silhouettes and they were perfectly in sync. Which is an incredible feat especially as two students dancing together.

To further clinch how dancing obsessed I am, I bought a book. I had been waiting for this book to come out since January. It came out this month and I have been completely engrossed. It's scary how reminiscent it is of everything I think and feel. It is an autobiography of a ballroom dancer who competed at a champion level back in the 70s. Quit, and then restarted in her forties. It would be totally boring to anyone who does not understand the dancing world or sympathize with what she undergoes in her lessons. I think it is supposed to be geared to being a self help book, but I would say it is very low quality in that respect but to read her experiences dancing is common to all dancers. It's amazing.

The Liskeys are home. At least for another two weeks. I miss them when they are not around. It's hard for me to have a real job right now because I am unable to spend time with them like I used to. I would love to have gone to Michigan to spend time with the kids the week before last, but I just couldn't take the time off. I love being a part of that family. I want to have a home like theirs when I have one of my own. I want an open house in which people feel comfortable being a part of. Amazing. I love them.

America

4 Days until my brother comes to America!

Countdown

5 Days until my brother comes home.

Update

Not a whole lot has been happening lately, at least nothing overly blog worthy.

Grandma is here and that is pretty amazing! We played two really late night hand and foot games because I got off work really late. She got me this amazing Wonder Woman lunch box which I have made into a purse. It is awesome.

I have bruised my thumb from knitting. I have been getting up at 4 AM to finish knitting projects by noon. But I am pretty much all done. In the words of Grandma "yahoo!" So tonight, I will sit and watch movies and maybe try to fit in one more hand and foot game.

Grandma and Mom head to Ohio tomorrow and I am off Thursday and Friday, so I am looking forward to relaxing and doing things outside of work.

My Christmas was pretty awesome. Happy Birthday Jesus cake, noodles romanoff, tape, pens, Duncle and Dad causing trouble, and lots of giggling. Cory, you were sorely missed and prayed for multiple times. We love you.

I can't really think of much else to say. It was fun to see Kevin too. He and I got along 90% of the time he was home which I think is a new record for us. We traded silly messages on a dry erase board and it was good times. I wish I had gotten in another Settlers of Cattan game though because I am not totally sure I know how to play fully.

Ok, I think that is it for tonight. I am sure I will update more in the next two days since I will have more time.

Cory

The elaborate plan did not work as well as I had hoped, but at least it is still during my Christmas Day. Sorry it is not yours anymore, but oh well.

I wanted you to be able to join in on the present opening experience.

So, here is an unopened present....

Here is your opened present.....

As soon as I fully finish the scarf, they will be in the mail with your mp3s and the rest of your request list. I love you. I hope you like the stuff I made you! They are extra thick and extra warm! Merry Christmas!

By the way, here is a random picture of Dad's new snowsuit.....