View

The view from where I sit:

A one year old, holding a rather large foam pirate sword and a tennis ball.
A large black dog watching the ball.

The one year old throws the ball (about a foot). It is retrieved by the big black dog and taken to a different location away from the one year old. The one year old follows and proceeds to hit the dog on the head with the foam pirate sword (hard), until the big black dog relinquishes the tennis ball.

The story ends with the big black dog taking the tennis ball into the big black chair and sitting on it. With the child sitting in front of the dog repeating "ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba" for the following three minutes...

Yup, I love to spend my summers this way.

Thoughts

I do not want to do anything out of God's will.

That said, waiting for and deciphering God's will is really difficult sometimes.

I firmly believe that God gives me a flat out kick in the butt sometimes to assure me of and turn me back to his will for my life. I also believe that God often whispers His will or even waits to reveal it to me until he is sure I will not accept anything that is not of His will.

I have two problems with that. One, I suck at listening for the still small voice. My life is too loud, my own thoughts are too loud, and I just can't seem to focus on that quiet voice. Two, I really want to follow God's will, but sometimes I like to think that just because I will it, must mean God wills it too. Not the case. Ecc 5:7 So I am not a patient waiter so I impose my own will and call it God's, instead of waiting to be sure of what comes from Him.

I am thankful for friends who kick me in the butt (Dawn) when they see I am following my own will and not God's. I believe He placed people like that in my life to quiet my heart and mind so I can listen and wait. All in all, it comes down to what Carrie has always said to me, "Be still."

So, here I sit, being still and waiting for God to give me some direction. Not even a toe of movement in any direction until God shows me His will for my life. I simply cannot trust my heart. Jer 17:9

Cory

I must say I cannot wait until December. When Kevin, Cory, and I can once again be united. Cory really is the key to the random fun times. Kevin and I can be fun and random at times, but we are not match for Cory. Throw him into the mix and it is bound to be a good time.

Assortment

I don't really have any one thing worthy of a post, but I have several bits of stuff.

Tate: While in Michigan watching the Liskey kids, I got to be a favorite of the two youngest boys. I assure you that has all changed again and neither really want anything to do with me when mom or dad is around. Anyway, I did not get a great deal of sleep while I was there, all kids were sick and some where home sick. Alright enough background information. Tate was sleeping so I headed into our room to nap while he was asleep. I walked in and he was staring at me. (poop). I smiled at him, told him I wasn't feeling well so I was going to come in and lay down. I asked him if he was ready to get up and he said no. So I went to the bathroom. I came back in and saw him scooting in his bed. I thought it was odd, because all the Liskey kids like to sleep in the middle of the bed, but headed for my bunk. He then said I scooted over for you. I stared at him and contemplated telling him I wanted to lay in my own bed. But then he patted the pillow for me to lay on and gave me the sweetest smile. How could I not. So I climbed into bed with him. Now my head still felt like exploding, but so did my heart. There is nothing better than the love of a child.

Cory: I am really really really excited to see my brother and to go on a brother/sister date and get a clenilla steamer.

PT: I went and talked to PT the other day. PT being Pastor Tim. He is an amazing man. He is so incredibly biblically based and so wise. I am so glad mom and I switched to this church. It feeds me and is refreshing each week.

Calli: My puppy is huge. She doubled in size while I was in Michigan. She still is small. But seems so much bigger now. She is full of energy and is having the puppy life she should have had. She is still sick, but I hope someday soon she will be worm free.

Friends

For the past week and a half I have felt rather alone. I never thought I was one who depended so deeply on contact with my friends, but I do. I have been basically out of contact with all of my friends from Purdue for the whole summer. Carrie has been gone on a mission trip. While Ben has been around after work, I haven't really been able to talk to him much.

Carrie is my heart. When I am struggling to put something into perspective she provides usually one sentence which is just what I need to hear to show me the truth. She gives me energy and joy. I adore her. I can go to her house feeling completely exhausted, destroyed, and overcome and leave with a smile on my face and laughing at some comment. She provides me with a glimpse of Christ's unconditional love. Through stupid times of neglecting our friendship and letting a bad relationship take precedence, she was still there loving me and welcomed me back once I regained my senses. She has invested in my life greatly and shown me the love of God and has shown me how to follow and make my relationship with Christ my own. I can't imagine my life without Carrie as a part of it.

Dawn, my dear roommate, made a wonderful effort to try to see me on Tuesday. It turned out miserably, but it was great to have someone to make such an effort for me. Dawn has shown me incredible love. She regularly would search her quiet time to come up with some name to call me. Such as, My wonderful roommate who has been endowed with the splendor. She was there when I didn't believe in love and she encouraged me and cried for me and stood by me. She watched and helped me to overcome my bitterness. She has challenged me in my faith and been a wonderful example. She calls me out when I am being stupid. She is blunt. She thinks this is a bad thing, but it is sometimes the only way to get through to me.

I find that my life just feels empty without being able to talk to these two. God has blessed me greatly to have these two wonderful women in my life. But, it is very hard to go without them.