New

It's been a while so I thought I would venture to do an update.

Chris and I spent 46 hours this week painting a mural in the basement of the Methodist church. He was off work and I owe him big time for working like a dog on a week off. But the mural looks good and I am just that much closer to completing the projects I promised I would start here. The other big one should be starting in the fall it is a midweek program. I promised to get one of those up and running, so I will be pleased when it finally hits.

I will be headed to Arkansas on the 29th of August to pick up a car that Chris' mom is giving him and I will be meeting the parents. It is kind of a frightening prospect, but he has already met mine. He actually knew my mom long before he met me and he just met my dad a few weeks ago. Thanks Sir for meeting us and treating us to lunch. But I have never really done the bring her home to meet mom and dad thing before.

In other news, I have now switched to a new instructor at the studio. Tim is expecting his third child now and is feeling too stretched between his wife wanting him to be home and needing to continue to study to keep up with his students, so he has decided to take a break for now. It was a wise decision on his part. Family comes first, but I was sad to see him go and I think he is bummed to not be dancing.

However the move to John will be a very good thing. He has spent a great deal more time lately training and knows a great deal more and I know I will learn a lot from him. Not to mention he is taller than me so I can wear real dance shoes and not have to be as low into my knees. It feels really good to stretch out after years of going so deeply into my knees. But as Ray told me long ago, learning how to dance low into my knees will just make me that much better of a dancers and will put me that much further beyond everyone else.

I think that is about it for now. Sunday School is almost over and I can head home soon. Happy Sunday!

Fall

So on Wednesday night in Ray's group, I fell for the first time in ballroom. It's a sickening feeling. I was dancing with little Alec. He is a fourteen year old that come up basically to my chest level. We were doing a really fast intricate quickstep. Crazy Sam, who has been dancing for at least 15 years now and still sucks, was doing his own thing and cut behind Alec and me. Now because of our height difference, Alec could not see directly behind me and I caught Sam leg with my leg and down I went. I was terrified of taking little Alec with me, so I pushed him off of me to ensure that he would not be injured. I tried to land as gracefully as possible without hurting anything important, eg. legs, back, head, feet. Instead I landed squarely on my tail bone.

I got up not terribly injured, but my butt was developing a knot already, but with a very bruised ego and extreme anger. You see, Sam never does what Ray tells him to. He doesn't listen and he is all over the place. It is hard to listen to Ray and do what you are supposed to when your partner is doing whatever the heck they want. So I already am severely annoyed with Sam and then because he is not doing what he is supposed to, I land on my butt. He walks up to me and says, "I did not get in the way." I said, "Actually, I did catch your foot." He says, "Oh" and walks away. Now I am seething. He made a woman fall, blames her for it, finds out he is to blame, and doesn't apologise? Really?

I find out that poor Alec went home and cried. He was so afraid that he had hurt me and that it was his fault. And while I don't typically have much sympathy or patience for Alec because he is a cocky hyper little kid, he was doing really well that night and totally surprised me.

So, here's the part where I am a bad person. The next night I am at the next Ray lesson and I am led out to the side in the direction of Sam and because Sam is never where he is supposed to be, his foot ends up squarely underneath my heel. And while this was a total accident. I felt a certain sense of poetic justice. I apologised to him and he would hear nothing of it. Oh well. Thus is the life of ballroom dancers.

California

I returned from California on Sunday the 26th. It was an amazing trip. We did a lot of amazing things. Four hours of coaching with Ray Rivers. Visited the San Diego Zoo. Several days at the Beach. Visited Old Town. Toured several ships. Pictures?

On the plane on the way there


I finally saw the Grand Canyon from the air



First sunset in San Diego



Touring San Diego by car


Took a ton of stairs down into a cave which let out onto the ocean



Chris, Aunt Fran, and Uncle Al who allowed us to stay with them and borrow their car all week. Their generosity and hospitality was amazing.


Four hour of lessons with Ray Rivers



Crawling through a submarine


View of the outside of the Submarine


The Star of India


On the Bay there were six ships which were open for tours. I took a ton of pictures for Grandpa Driver, but here are a few.

San Diego Zoo

California Highway sign in Old Town

Picture at Old Town. A very cool touristy shopping spot.

Chris and I started dating on Wednesday during our week in San Diego. I am continually amazed with God's provision and role in our relationship. My phone also died while I was in San Diego. I am currently waiting for a new one to arrive. Feel free to call and find out more about the trip. The new phone is supposed to come today. :)

Correct

It did in fact only take a few hours for the assurance to fade away into doubt. And while, the doubt doesn't feel very pleasant. I am none the crying out to God to hold me close and give me the strength I lack. I am sure His hand is in this somewhere, whether I can see it moving or not.

On another note:

Happy Birthday Sir!

Today

Today things seem evident and immanent. Like if it were a snake it would have bitten me. I like this feeling. It feels like I am in control and in the loop. But tomorrow... I'm pretty sure that tomorrow, if not in a few hours, things will not seem obvious anymore. I will begin to second guess and to doubt. I don't like that feeling. It makes me feel helpless, but it forces me into the arms of my Savior who can handle things far better than I. So I'll take either side knowing that God is sovereign.

Upcoming

7/5-7/11 - Prepping for VBS. Organizing materials. Begging for more helpers. Creating Emergency Info Sheets for Children. Finishing Decorating Sets.

7/12-7/18 - VBS. 9AM to 12PM. Friend's Wedding in Lafayette on 18th. Anniversary Party at the Studio.

7/19-7/26 - California. Lessons with Ray. San Diego Zoo. Beaches.

7/27 - --- - Prepping for the Fall

That's the basic outline of what is happening with me for the next several weeks. I find I am overwhelmed with the amount of work I need to do and also the enormous elephant in the room. At least I have something to distract me from the work load.

Michael

I was greatly saddened by the death of Michael Jackson yesterday. It had been one of my life-long goals to see Michael Jackson in concert. I have determined to see him on this new tour. It's the first and probably only celebrity death which will actually bring me near tears.

It was an interesting day yesterday due to the death. I heard from a few people who I haven't heard from in a long time. Apparently, I leave a legacy of Michael Jackson appreciation with those who I meet and spend time with. I once had a roommate tell me, "I was never really into Michael Jackson and thought he was sort of weird. But after living with you I love the music and find myself defending him too." While I think maybe I should have left a different legacy with people, I am glad to have developed an appreciation for MJ in several people.

Cory and I had lots of good times of singing Michael Jackson songs in the car and I remember watching Dad's MJ laser disks whenever he turned them on. Some of my favorite memories with both people.

Lesson

I had coaching with Ray on Wednesday. As usual it was amazing. But this lesson was particularly fantastic. He cleaned up a great deal of my basics and we actually delved a little bit into the harder stuff that Tim and I work on.

There is one particular figure in the Tango that we have been battling through that is really difficult. It has an over sway in it. An image of this shape is to the right. I thought I had a pretty clear understanding of the over sway and how to create that shape. So Ray took me into position and the few steps that go into the over sway, I went where I thought I was supposed to go and thanks to Ray's fantastic skill was far better than I had been doing. But then he tells me to push my thighs further in and hold my pelvis to be square. Ray steps out leaving me in this position and Tim walks in as a sort of stunt double. Ray twists my spine more pushes my upper body further to the right and forces my back to be arched even more. Then he grabs a hold of my neck and pulls it out further from my body and pulls in back. Now if you had any doubt as to the physical aspects of dancing, I assure you that every muscle in my entire body was engaged and screaming for dear life at this point in time. Then Ray begins to talk to me, all the while holding this position which, as he said, "is wringing out my spine like a dish rag." What he said in this moment didn't really hit me until today because I was attempting to hold position, stop my limbs from shaking, and listen.

He was talking about my extension in my back and neck. He demonstrated that I always seem to stop myself. That I had a bit too much rigidity and control. He told me I needed to let go and just let the position happen. Let me head follow the shape my spine is creating and flow all the way into the drama of the dance.

Today this information strikes me as something beyond dance. I love to be in control of myself. I love order. I love patterns. I love predictability. I don't really like emotions because they are hard to control. I work hard to maintain control. This brings about a rigidity in my life and prevents me from ever truly letting go. It prevents me from letting go and allowing God to take control of my life. It prevents me from letting myself enjoy the music and movement in my life. And while a certain amount of self-control is a good thing, I believe I have gone way too far. So, I'll learn to let go some of the times and follow the direction happening in my life.

Not sure where or how this applies quite yet, but it was an interesting stream of consciousness that I decided to just go with.

Mom also wanted me to delve into some of the other experiences I had with Ray during this lesson, but I am afraid that it would be taken in the wrong way by those who are not used to the dance world and what is involved in it. But suffice it to say, that dancing and specifically coaching with Ray is a stretching experience in every sense of the word.

Unexpected

I got a very unexpected complement tonight from a very unexpected source at a point in time when I was feeling like I just had nothing to offer.

I was told that I had a gentle and quiet spirit. This is ironic because it comes from one of the people who can get on my nerves the quickest and has elicited several cutting remarks from me. This person is also incredibly hard on women. His standards and beliefs about what women should be is higher than I have heard from anyone else. So needless to say I was surprised at the comment.

I was feeling pretty all around terrible tonight. Out with the normal crew and feeling like I just wanted to sink into the seat I was sitting in. I knew that I was evoking concern in the people I was with, but I just couldn't pull myself out of the funk.

That's when this person said, "This is the first time I have ever seen you quiet quiet." I was almost tempted to ask what that meant, but settled for an apology. He went on to say, "Which is saying a lot because you are naturally a quiet person." I am rarely quiet in my mind around this person. Again, we do a lot of banter back and forth. He went on to say, "You have a gentle and quiet spirit and that is a very rare find in a woman now a days."

I was overcome with gratitude for the complement and almost lost my composure as my eyes welled up. You see, I know women who have a gentle and quiet spirit. I have always admired them greatly and desired that trait as well. However, I just didn't believe that was a part of who I was. I have too sharp of a tongue and too often speak my mind.

It is a trait that I have tried to work towards, but had seen no progress, so I was delighted to hear that God had also been working in me in that way.

I still feel terrible. I have a lot on my mind and am working through a lot of stuff as mentioned in my last long post, but I am delighted by a brother in Christ noticing a positive feminine trait in me.

Irony

I just discovered something in my own blog....

IRONY