Moments

Sometimes little moments in life can change your mood, your direction, and your outlook.

Moment 1

Last night as I settled into bed, feeling delightfully relaxed due to my lack of homework, despite my stomach ache, I decided to watch "The Princess Diaries" (which is a movie I used to love to watch before going to sleep). The opening song to this movie, is one of my favorite songs (it kind of fits with my wonder woman/submissive self. Anyway, here are the lyrics and I will explain after.

Sometimes I have dreams
I picture myself flying
Above the clouds
High in the sky
Conquering the world
With my magic piano
Never being scared
But then I realize

I'm supergirl
And I'm here
To save the world
And I wanna know
who's gonna save me?

I'm supergirl
And I'm here to
Save the world
And I wanna know
Why I feel so alone

Seems like a dream
But there's one thing missing
nobody's here with me
To share in all that
I've been given
Never being scared
But then I realize

Hey ooh I need someone
I wont stop till
I find the one
Who will start
Belonging in my life
I need someone
I wont stop till
I find the one
Who will start
Belonging in my life

I'm supergirl
And I'm here to
Save the world
And I wanna know
who's gonna save me

I'm supergirl
And I'm here to
Save the world
And I wanna know
Why I feel so alone
I'm supergirl
I wanna know
who's gonna save me

I'm supergirl
And I'm here to
Save the world

Ok, on to the moment. So I'm laying in bed, not facing the TV, but humming along with the music. Thinking "YEAH! Who's gonna save me?" meaning this with a human guy emphasis. Then I get stuck on the word "save." And it occurs to me, I have been saved. I am not alone! God is all I need and he is my Savior, my knight in shining armor.

This thought was brought up again this morning as I am listening to Barlowgirl on my iPOD. These are some of the lyrics....

I've had enough of living life for only me
And reaching for the things
That keep destroying me
So sick of envying the lives of so many I see
Somehow believing that they have what I need

(Chorus:)
My God's enough for me
This world has nothing I need
In this whole life I've seen
My God's enough, enough for me

So in summation, the first moment was a moment of realization that I am looking for happiness in the world, and that nothing outside of God can bring that happiness.

Moment 2

So earlier yesterday I was playing around. I was in total kid mode. Laughing so hard. It was so refreshing. Explanation of significance of moment. I sometimes feel as though I am much to much of a grown-up for my tender age of twenty. I thoroughly enjoyed the break from the adult life and decided I need to do that more often. I need to color (I love to color). I need to giggle and find the silly in everything. I need to get back to the child-like, carefree Kimi.

Moment 3

This occurred last Wednesday and Thursday. So despite my true wishes, I am in the schools two days a week. Most of the time, it is barely tolerable (I really don't want to be a teacher) but it is events like this that make my classroom experience worth while. I have a heart for kids, all kids, but especially "bad" kids. I have a heart for kids who hurt or have gotten a bad wrap and take it out in their actions and attitudes for people. You see, I believe these kids are not "bad" as they are labeled, but just need someone to see them, really see them. I believe if you just spend sometime with these kids and they will open up to you and become like perfect angels.

Case in point: In school Wednesday, all of the kids who completed their assigned amount of reading were able to go to an assembly. This was rather lame and really not a reward at all, most of my kids were bored stiff. But anyway, I had one boy in my class who was not allowed to go because he did not complete his assigned reading. This kid is labeled as a "bad" kid. He gets into a great deal of trouble, does not do particularly well in school, and I have heard for myself that he has a bit of a potty mouth on him. I was left to essentially babysit this student while the classroom teacher took the rest of the students to the assembly.

This student was to write a story during this time. He was sort of just goofing around while I was supposed to be grading papers. So, I decided to start up a conversation with him to get him on track with his assignment. I asked him what he was going to write about and he lifts up a book entitle "Robots". I ask him then if he is going to write about the book, and he replies that he is not going to write about the book, but about robots. He LOVES robots. He proceeded to tell me that he has read six books about robots now and that he has already built several by himself. I ask him what they do and he says he has made some that walk and turn themselves on and off and he has even made one that uses magnets to climb up a refrigerator. He tells me this is what he wants to do when he grows up. He then tells me that he will be designing a robot in his story and make a story about it. The regular teacher walks in and he tries to look busy as though our discussion was not productive.

The next time I am at the school I am teaching a math lesson to the entire class. In the middle of one of my sentences, this same boy says to me, "Miss Driver, you're going to be an awesome teacher." I finish my sentence then turn around back to the student smile and say, "Thank you, _________." I finish the lesson and am once again grading papers. The student comes up to me and asks if I have seen his paper yet. I tell him no, but I will get to it when I get to it. He says, "no, not that paper. The math paper we just turned in." This paper was the one that went with my lesson which I collect to use as student data. I tell him I will look at it later, in case there is something inappropriate on it and I also need to finish grading the papers.

So after school, I find his paper and read it. It says again that I will be a great teacher and then it is signed with his name. It occurs to me at this point. That all it really takes to reach a kid is simply to talk to them. It was not my lesson he was commenting on, because it stunk (not being hard on myself, but we are required to use a certain format of math lesson, which I think is ridiculous and doesn't actually teach anything). He was commenting about me being an excellent teacher because I took the time to talk to him. This student just wanted to believe someone cared about him and was interested in him. Isn't that a basic human need? So synthesis of moment three: I realized I have a heart for the kids who need to know they are cared about. The kids who don't feel like anyone cares or all they attention they get is negative attention.

Ok, so those are three recent moments which have caused me to pause and dig deeper.