SUCK

Rest assured everyone, I suck.

I again, missed a deadline. I was supposed to have emailed my lesson plan in by 8. I realized this at 8:15. So I busted my butt and turned it in by 9:10. Suck. I swear I am not going to get my license. I am so organized in some ways, but apparently not organized in other ways. This is so unlike me. I went through a period of this last year too. I work my tail off and no matter how hard I work, I still mess up. There was a lot of stuff going on then and there is a lot of stuff going on now. Maybe I just need to put the rest of my life on hold and concentrate on student teaching. Got that everybody? Nobody do anything that could possibly effect me in any way, negatively or positively, until I am done with student teaching. I just want to graduate.

I feel like
I would like
To be somewhere else doing something that matters
And I’ll admit here
While I sit here
My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather
What’s the purpose
It feels worthless
So unwanted like I’ve lost all my value
I can’t find it
Not in the least bit
And I’m just scared, so scared that I’ll fail you
And sometimes I think that I’m not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I’m even here at all
But then you assure me
I’m a little more than useless
And when I think that I can’t do this
You promise me that I’ll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once
So I say if I can’t
Do something significant
I’ll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trivial
That life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it
Too late look
My date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet
That regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run
I’m a little more than useless
And when I think that I can’t do this
You promise me that I’ll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once
I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna be the day
Gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once
I noticed
I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it
I spent it
Convincing myself the world’s doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time
It’s my life
And my right
To use it like I should
Like he would
For the good
Of everything that I would ever know

-More Than Useless, Relient K