Yes, I know. It has been almost exactly a week since my last depressing post. Therefore, I think we are due for another one. This one might end on a positive note though, so hold tight.
Have you ever felt like a wallflower? Like you just simply blend into the background and no one notices you? Like you could leave a room and it would take the others in the room a significant amount of time to realize you were missing?
In the movie, Princess Diaries, Mia discusses how she seems to be invisible to the rest of the human population with her best friend Lilly. She states, "someone sat on me again." Later in the movie, she exclaims, "I am invisible and wet!"
She just wants to be seen. She wants to be known. She wants to be acknowledged. She wants to be separated from the wall.
I am struggling tonight with feeling: unnoticed, invisible, unworthy, ignored, unappreciated, unseen, unrecognized, unqualified, and unimportant.
I want to someone to see some value in me. I want to be worth someone's time. I want someone to pull me away from the wall.
I know God has done this for me in my life. I know my family sees some sort of value in me. But sometimes it doesn't feel like enough. I just want something tangible. You know?
Herein lies yet another reason why I dance and why I love Thursday night dancing with Tim.
On Thursday nights, I am used to demonstrate. I am literally pulled away from the wall and everyone's eyes are on me. I am seen. I am valued for my ability and opinions. I am asked to judge what others are doing incorrectly and which moves should be done. I am asked by fellow students how to do the steps. For about three hours a week, I get to feel: noticed, visible, worthy, acknowledged, appreciated, seen, recognized, qualified, and important.
And seeing how Wednesday nights seem to be the rough night for me, I am grateful that Thursday is always soon to follow.
So until I can consistently look forward to feeling noticed, visible, worthy, acknowledged, appreciated, seen, recognized, qualified, and important, I look forward to dancing on Thursday nights.
6 comments:
Nice new look on the Web page Miss. God has made you for a reason. You are noticed all the time. Just enjoy life the way it is. The right person will notice and then you will know.
First off, hooray on the appearance of your blog. I know this is all for you, but I really like it.
Next, you are - have always been - noticed more than you realize. So, people just do not have their eyes open. That is nothing about you, but rather them... the timing... the circumstances, whatever. You are, have never been, a wallflower. Everybody loves Kimi! Remember how I have been praying, "but only if it is right for her and Your will, Lord".
Let's go dance!!!!!
hi. i like you.
for the first time in a LONG time i didn't get a migraine when i read your blog.
I'll add to the chorus of those approving of the template. The guy who wrote it, Douglas Bowman, is one of my daily reads (when he posts).
I'm shocked with the change. Especially since I personally know that it was only in the last 24hr. Does having a stalker make you feel less like a wallflower?
Thanks for the feedback. And most days, yes, slightly less like a wallflower. But weirded out tonight by a creepy old man who wants to be my stalker.
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