Fly

I should be asleep. Tomorrow will come very early, but I am just too wired.

My lesson tonight is the very reason why I dance. I had a lesson with Tim. Tomorrow is my lesson with Ray. I have been frustrated a lot and struggling with a lot of specifics with all of my dances. It has weighed heavily on my mind and confidence.

However, tonight as I was practicing with a normal dance partner and I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. Normally, my first reaction is to attack some specific physical aspect, like my acne or my stomach, but tonight, I didn't see that. I looked in the mirror and the only thing that went through my mind was that I looked graceful. My legs and body looked strong and I was moving well. It was nice to see myself in that light. Rare, but nice.

Then I went to eat with my practice partner and relaxed before my lesson, instead of doing the group lesson. When I came back I was relaxed and refreshed. Tim came out and the three of us chatted for a bit before he and I hit the floor. We did each of the 10 dances I am doing twice (the equivalent of what I will be doing that weekend). There were only minor corrections on my rhythm style dancing. I was laughing and having fun and enjoying doing the dances. It didn't feel like work today. Tim picked all of my favorite songs.

Then the last song in the first set of 10 was a Viennese Waltz. This has been my biggest struggle lately. I have been struggling with my frame and something called a natural turn and it is extremely difficult to get the room alignments correct. It is a fast dance and there is not much room for error. A few degrees off on each and you have a big big mess. Anyway, my favorite Viennese song came on. One I wanted to do for a showcase as a matter of fact. I looked at Tim and groaned and he groaned too.

We started doing a few hesitation steps then went into some reversal (similar to the naturals, but much easier as far as alignment goes). All was well. Then we approached the long wall and did a change step. This is a maneuver to change which foot is free. Then we went into naturals and for the first time, they felt good. I was excited, but afraid it was a fluke. Another change step, more reversals, an explosion (a turn in Viennese - called an explosion because the dance is so fast that breaking apart to turn looks a lot a explosion throwing the two people apart), another change step and more naturals. These felt good too!

I gave into the music and finally felt Viennese the way it is supposed to be. We were taking huge strides and the movement was coming easy and I felt it. I felt like I was flying. I felt above all of the stress and exhaustion. I felt like I was above all of the injuries and fears. I felt the exhilaration that this dance is supposed to encompass. Amazing! The song ended Tim threw me into another explosion and we finished in an open position. I was completely out of breath! I had to refocus and bring myself back down to earth. It was incredible. I felt free. The rest of the lesson went really well. I laughed and kidded around.

I feel completely relaxed for the competition. If I have more lessons like that then I will not be remotely nervous. I am nervous to see what Ray will throw into the mix, but I know he will add a lot to my dances. But tonight, I am excited (not nervous, excited) for the comp and loving every minute of what I do! Yay!