Lesson

So for those of you who haven't heard yet about how my lesson with Ray and Tim went, here is the summation:


I went in extremely nervous. Tim and I had both planned on focusing primarily on smooth. It is my weakest area because it is not my instructors forte.

The lesson started with Tim telling Ray that we wanted to focus on smooth so that Ray could fix my frame. Ray then proceeded to fix Tim's Frame and comment on how my frame and symmetry was beautiful. The lesson pretty much proceeded in that manner. I would be given a few things to work on mostly related to making my height match Tim's and then did more major critiques on Tim. At one point while Tim and I were dancing and were a little further away from Ray, Tim said, "So everything is my fault?" Silence is the only available response to that question.

The rhythm was a different story. That is Tim's forte and that portion of the coaching was very concentrated on fixing me, which is good. But a good 80% of my lesson was spent on fixing things with Tim.

So after the lesson, I had very mixed feelings. Tim's ego tends to be fragile and if it is bruised he tends to take that out on me, so I was afraid of our next lesson. I was ecstatic that Ray had seen so much good in my dancing and I was feeling confident for the comp. I was angry about spending money to train my instructor and yet knew that it was necessary to be able to continue to dance with Tim which I want to continue.

After considering the lesson for a few days, I realized the lesson was completely worth it. It was beneficial for my self-esteem. And in order to keep improving with my instructor, he needs to keep improving. The changes that were made during the lesson will only make me look better in the comp and that is of key importance right now anyway. So, my only fears remaining were dealing with Tim's potential ego problems.

So dancing with Tim on Thursday went well and my lesson on Friday went well. He was concerned about my back and shoulders on Thursday and was very protective of me from the leads who hurt me more than normal. He was also kidding around with me a great deal.

I had spend the entire day on Friday throwing up and having other bathroom issues. I was praying all day for it to stop before my lesson because it is one of my last practices before the comp. The symptoms finally did stop at about 4:30 PM. However, I had lost almost all of my fluids and most of what I had eaten the day before. I had only been able to eat 5 saltines and hadn't been able to drink much.

I went to my lesson simply pleased to be able to stand up straight. I danced well, but not at the top of my game. I was proud of how well I danced despite my bodies physical condition. (April had told me before that is the marking of a truly good dancer, some one who can dance well despite the feeling of dying.) Tim could see that I was not doing well physically and was clearly concerned. He couldn't figure out what my problem was and I didn't tell him the whole truth. We finished my lesson and I ran an errand with mom to cool down and get some beverages and crackers to recharge myself.

I came back to the studio for the party, planning to take it easy on myself. I didn't do the group lesson. (rare) It was salsa. (even stranger that I would sit out) This peaked everyone's interest. I was sitting in my normal spot leaning against the wall and Tim came over and sat right next to me. This is rare as well. Despite the fact that dancing at a high level requires body contact throughout the entire body, most of us operate at a distance from each other off the dance floor. The conversation followed.

T: What are you doing?
K: Sitting. What are you doing?
T: Nothing.
K: I don't buy that. You look mischievous.
T: (Evil Grin followed by a few seconds of silence)
T: So was your coaching what you expected?
K: No.
T: How so?
K: Umm... (struggling with how to respond knowing that he was referring to him being critique more than me)
T: Was it easier or harder than you expected?
K: Easier. He is far more intimidating in the group lessons and such a perfectionist. I was expecting to leave feeling like I sucked, but I left feeling rather confident.
T: (a couple of moments of contemplation) Were you disappointed?
K: (at this point I realized we were talking about the core issue about him receiving the brunt of the teaching) No, I feel more confident about the comp and I think I will do better after getting his coaching.
T: Okay, well next time I will tell him to dig into you too. (said with a smile on his face)
K: (smiling) Sounds good.

This is basically how Tim and I operate. Both of us are extremely non-confrontational and therefore we talk around the issue and yet still get the issues absolved.

So Tim's ego may have been bruised and he seemed rather embarrassed, but he didn't take it out on me. I am ready for the comp dance wise and instructor wise. All I need to do now is get healthy. I need to distance myself from the flu stuff I have been struggling with for a few weeks and this cold that I have which has given me a nasty cough and the inability to breathe.

Six days until the comp!